The Great(est) Adventure Continues

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Trip home from Ethiopia

When we woke up in Ethiopia on Saturday, June 4th, we had 40 hours until we touched down in Springfield and got to see Ari. I set the alarm on my phone to go off every hour so I could take a picture. Here's how it turned out.

Saturday, June 4, 2011

Day 5

Today was court day. Four families, including us, left the guest house around 8:00 and were taken to Holt's office. Strangely enough, it was located less than one mile from the care center where Ari lived. As we pulled up to the building I looked across the street and recognized the little dirt road that led to Ari's care center. We headed up the steps to the top floor with Miruk, our Holt representative, where we all sat down and were presented with our chldren's entire file. We all were thrilled to be able to see this paperwork, including many documents and pictures we had never seen before. We feel very grateful and privileged to be given access to this information. Even though it would seem we are entitled to it, not all agencies allow this much transparency in the adoption process. We were also allowed to take pictures of the documents since the binder itself is Holt's property and will remain in Holt's possession. We were then quickly briefed on the questions to expect from the judge, what the waiting room will be like, etc. We headed back downstairs to unload our donations in a storage room that included lots and lots of donations and also shelves upon shelves of binders of previously adopted children.

Finally we all piled in the van and headed to court. Up to the top floor once again where we entered a semi-crowded room mixed with adoptive parents, birth parents, and agency representatives. What an emotional and humbling experience it was for us to be in the same room with birth parents. It was really like two worlds colliding with one very intimate and special connection. You could see them looking the adoptive parents over from head to toe, which I think is certainly understandable. I wanted to communicate to them that my heart was breaking for them, that it's not fair due to circumstances out of their control (disease, poverty, premature parental death, etc.) we are on this side of the process while they are on the opposite, that we do not feel "entitled" to their children; rather we feel completely blessed and grateful for the opportunity to raise these special kids. We waited for approximately an hour and were then called in as a group into the judge's chambers. The judge was female with two helpers and files piled up all around her. After asking for all of our passports she asked about 6 to 10 "yes/no" questions in which we all answered in unison as a group. She then informed us that all of our paperwork is in order; she is just waiting for the MOWCYA letter. She also commented that she had talked to MOWCYA yesterday and she was expecting to receive the letters soon. We all kind of exchanged disappointed glances and let out a defeated sigh, but none of us were too surprised. At first I couldn't decide if it was a good thing or a bad thing none of us had our letters, but I've decided it's better than only one family not passing as that would seem to indicate there could be a problem specific that that family's case. This seems more a result of MOWCYA not keeping up with their workload, possibly because of the rumored slowdown we've all been hearing about for months now. Regardless, we will hope that our letter shows up in the next week or so. Two more families with Holt had their court date the day after ours, and they received the exact same news. Hopefully MOWCYA will get to the Holt pile soon.

We then headed out to lunch at Yod Abysynnia, but since Wednesday is a fasting day it was very empty with no singing or dancing going on. Next we went shopping at the post office shops where we all power-shopped since we only had 45 minutes. We then made a quick stop at Tamoca Coffee to buy some coffee to bring back home before heading back to the guest house. Two of the families who attended court with us left tonight, so we exchanged emails and information and said our good-byes.

One other family who had court with us and also traveled with us down south was transferring to the Sheraton, so Melke picked us and them up to take to the Sheraton and we had a delicious dinner at Stagioni in the Sheraton. It is really a shocking difference when you leave the streets of Addis Ababa and enter the gates of the Sheraton. It feels like you have suddenly been transported to a Vegas hotel located on the Strip. It was absolutely beautiful and decadent. After dinner we passed by an outdoor area where a band was performing. I asked the guard if it was a private party and he said, "No, of course not," and oped the door for me to enter. We entered the patio area and for the next hour or so listened to a really good band from Atlanta, GA. We kind of figured they were from the States since they were performing M.J., Beyonce, '70s funk, etc., but weren't completely sure. We had a blast! It felt a little surreal to be in that type of environment after experiencing the previous four days, but it was great. We have come to appreciate and love the feeling of being surrounded by people from literally all over the world in one place with us as Americans being in the minority. We had way too much fun scanning the crowd, speculating on where everyone was from based on their attire or "look." And of course there were beautiful Ethiopian women all around us, in which Roger and I would just look at each other and shake our head. We always joke that Ari would be crazy not to marry an Ethiopian woman someday.

We finally said good-bye to our friends and headed back to the guest house with Melke. I made the mistake of not taking Advil PM before bed once we got back and only got about three hours of sleep as a result because I was missing Ari so painfully much. I finally got out of bed at approximately 2:30 a.m. ET time, dug out the Susan Parr Travel phone number out of our backpack, and called to see if we could get an earlier flight home for either Thursday or Friday night. For approximately $1500 we could get home at 9:40 p.m. Saturday night rather than our scheduled 5:20 p.m. on Sunday, so I resigned myself to the fact I would just have to suck it up and deal. The days do go by quickly here, but at night I become a crazy, emotional mess missing my baby and drive Roger crazy unless I drug myself to sleep. It was just hard to know we technically could go home if we wanted to, plus the fact our group we had spent so much time with and had so much fun with had all left. But we did decide to stay a few extra days for good reason, so it's probably a blessing coming home early wasn't an option.

Day 4

Today we awoke in Awassa at the Lewi Hotel (wrapped in our mosquito net hanging above our bed), grabbed a quick breakfast, and headed out of town. Before leaving Awassa we stopped at the Lewi Resort for a photo op on the lake. It was a beautiful lake and resort, and we were all asking why we couldn't stay there instead! As we walked up to the waterfront we noticed a table of "ferenge" (white foreigners) sitting at a table. Roger of course walked up and introduced himself, and lo and behold they were from Iowa of all places. They were in Ethiopia for two weeks working on some water projects down south. I love how I can be in southern Ethiopia and still run into Iowa people. What a small world we live in.

We drove back north to the city, this time taking a completely different route where the scenery was much more desert-like and flat. There was a lot more industry on this road including HUGE greenhouses lined up for miles. We asked what they were growing and our guide told us strawberries and flowers, both of which are exported out of ET. We also saw monkeys and camels today which was something new and entertaining. The traffic was once again treacherous and we saw overturned and charred vehicles which made us that much more anxious to get back to the city.

After arriving back we grabbed a quick late lunch at the guest house and then came up to the computer/family room where we were introduced to the children who have been united with their families and also attended embassy today. They are all just precious and seem to be doing so well with their new family in such a short amount of time. Roger made good friends with one particular little 4-year-old girl who we think is going to be a serious soccer star someday. She was definitely giving Roger a run for his money! For dinner the guest house provided a barbecue out in the traditional-style huts that you see everywhere down south, and it was delicious! Our food experience on this trip has been amazing!

We have been able to Skype with Ari a couple times so far. He can see our picture, but so far we haven't been able to see him. My mom reports he is doing great, sleeping and eating well, but maybe does miss us a little. She said he listens to our recorded books we made for him quite a bit. I'm so glad we made them for him even though it did cause me to have a major cry fest while attempting to record them the night before we left.

Tomorrow morning we will go to the Holt office in the city for a debriefing of what court will be like, then attend court, hopefully receive awesome news, and then lunch at an Ethiopian cultural restaurant. The week has been going by pretty quickly due to our busy schedule and the great people we have been keeping company with.

We will update soon with our court news!

Monday, May 30, 2011

Ethiopia: Days 1, 2 and 3

It's Day One for us in Ethiopia, 3:45 a.m., and I've been awakened by the call to prayer coming through our cracked windows. Something that once sounded so foreign less than a year and a half ago now sounds familiar, even comforting. It feels surreal to be back here, like it's too good to be true. Well, to be quite honest, it is too good to be true! But here we are once again, welcomed by our now dear friend Melke at the airport last night outside the baggage claim after over 24 hours of travel, standing amidst a crowd of beautiful Ethiopians with a smile, a big hug, and an infectious laugh. It made me happy to see the onlookers smile and watch with interest as they witnessed our obviously joyful reunion with Melke. We entered into the dark night and were instantly enveloped by the unforgettable smell of Addis to which Roger and I immediately locked eyes and exchanged a knowing smile, remembering back to the bewilderment and nervous excitement we felt when we exited that airport the last time feeling like we had truly entered into another world. We loaded our four 50-pound suitcases into yet another mid-'80s compact-sized Toyota and were driven through the never-ending rut-filled back roads of the city to our gated guest house. Needless to say, it feels exhilarating to be back.

We left Springfield Saturday morning and flew to Chicago, enjoyed one last "American" meal at Chili's, boarded a 747 three hours later, and took off for Frankfurt. Different route of travel for us this time. Lufthansa through Frankfurt rather than Ethiopian Air direct from D.C. to Addis. The plane was great, service great, overnight (Springfield time) layover in Frankfurt not so great. Landing in Frankfurt at 11 p.m. "our" time with a five-hour layover was just a bit brutal. We made camp and tried to sleep the best we could on some hard, semi-reclined chairs in the lounge area of the airport to catch a few Z's, but we had already entered into that twilight zone of international travel where you have NO IDEA what time it is, if the sun has just risen or is setting, and when you fall asleep you wake up with a jolt not knowing whether you slept for three hours or 30 minutes. Knowing once we got to Addis it would be 9:00 p.m. and we would be able to "reset" with a normal night's sleep (ha ha ha! It's 3:45 a.m and I'm wide awake!) at the guest house helped us tolerate it all. We boarded an airbus, this plane filled with beautiful Ethiopian people, me smiling every time I saw an Ethiopian child that instantly made my heart long for Ari, and took off for the six-hour flight to Addis. The couple sitting directly behind us tapped us on the shoulder about four hours into the flight and inquired if we were adopting. They too are adopting a baby girl and are traveling for court just like us. They will even be at court the same day as us. This is their first adoption, so we compared notes on agencies, talked about how difficult the return trip home will be for us emotionally, not knowing for sure when we will see our little girls again and be able to bring them home. All I can say is I'm SO THANKFUL I have Ari to come home to!

After we arrived at the Jemimah Guest House (pronounced Jamie-ma, not Aunt Jemimah -- it only took Melke three times to say that before I figured out what in the world he was saying), we checked in and the guys hauled our luggage up three flights to our room, Melke laughing the entire time at Roger's physical exertion. Melke has a great appreciation for Roger's humor and also his misfortunes. He also informed us that I looked exactly the same as he remembered me but a little taller, interestingly enough, and Roger looked shorter. lol. Melke, by the way, is maybe 5'6". I then proceeded to hand over to Melke his stack of mail from his American fan club -- some of the families who have had the privilege of meeting him. He handed over the cell phone he will be lending to us this week so we can make contact with him and our family back home, had a confusing, language-barrier filled conversation with Roger on how we will pay for the minutes to call back home, filled us in on how the agency we previously worked with for Ari's adoption continues to decline -- my word, not his -- and marveled over the photos and video we show him of Ari Madegiya, to which he only refers to as Madegiya, commenting on how big he is, how handsome he is, how he runs and jumps and talks now, how his hair is in a "freeze," aka frizz. That is actually a compliment and is just the name of the hairstyle Ari is sporting these days. Oh, man, it's just amazing to be back! We couldn't be any happier or feel more blessed.

Day 2

After finally falling back to sleep around 7:00 a.m this morning., Roger and I shamelessly slept in until 11:00 attempting to catch up on sleep. After getting ready we headed downstairs to the "hang out" room in our guest house and visited with the other adoptive families, most here for court like us, one for embassy. Melke came and picked us up and we headed out in the rain to Top View for lunch. We enjoyed their Sunday buffet which was delicious. After taking some group pictures with Addis in the background, we headed back into the city with Melke and made a stop at Kaldi's for some macchiatos and to purchase a sim card for our cell phone to call back home so we could check in on little man. 100 birr for eight minutes on international talk time!! What a deal! We then headed out of town for an afternoon trip to Lake Bobigaya. After seeing our lives flash before our eyes multiple times due to some risky traffic maneuvers on Melke's part, we arrived at the beautiful lake resort and enjoyed some drinks with a great view. There happened to be a wedding party going on, so we gawked and attempted to take pictures of the ridiculously good-looking wedding party until we were told not to take any more pictures by one of the groomsmen. We even asked Melke before we took a picture if they would mind and he said "no, of course, not." Well, after the first picture, we were scowled at and asked "Why?" in Amharic by one particular groomsmen, so that was the end of that. Melke didn't understand and was surprised that the groomsman didn't want us to do that, so we explained to Melke that it was okay he didn't want some foreign white people taking his picture. Melke and I laughed so hard we cried on the way to the resort and back as we watched Roger react to a particularly smelly bad stretch of road, almost vomiting he was so grossed out. Well, okay, it was pretty gross, but Roger was taking it to a whole new level. I asked Melke what could that horrendous smell possibly be, seriously thinking there could be something dead and decaying nearby, and he replied "cow poop and rain." I beg to differ! There is no way cow poop and rain could smell THAT foul! We eventually made it back to the guest house, visited some more with the other Holt families, enjoyed our second delicious meal of the day, this time prepared by the guest house staff, and have now come back to our room. Tomorrow will start bright and early as we have been instructed to be down for breakfast at 5:30 a.m. so we can head south at 6:00 a.m. TO MEET EZRA! Wow. Still trying to wrap my head around that one. I can't decide if it hasn't sunk in completely yet because it's my defense mechanism of knowing we will only get to spend a very few hours with her and then leave her indefinitely OR because one's heart and mind cannot fully process the magnitude of meeting one's child for the first time. I think it's a little of both.

Day 3

Off to Wolayta we went this morning to meet Ezra with an early morning breakfast at the guest house and an hour and 15 minute late start at 7:15 a.m.. Such beautiful, beautiful scenery on the way down south. It is really spectacular and I am so glad we have now seen southern Ethiopia where both of our children were born. We traveled with two other couples who also have daughters at the same care center as Ezra. The five-hour drive passed by rather quickly with all of the laughter and jokes going on. Roger, Jay, and Aaron entertained each other and the women with their "expertise" photography skills, competing with each other to get the best National Geographic picture with their camera hanging out the window as we flew down the road at 60 miles an hour dodging cattle, donkeys, goats and people the entire way. At a restroom break I was talking to our guide about the different villages in Kembata and Wolayta and how they were related distance-wise. I mentioned the village Ari was born in, and as we came closer to our destination the van slowed and she pointed down into a gorgeous deep valley and told us that was the village where our son was born. It was such an awesome feeling to look down into that green valley with our own eyes and know that is where Ari started out on this earth. And to think there is a woman who is still there that our lives are so intimately intertwined with. Such an overwhelming feeling.

Before coming into Wolayta we stopped at an intersection to wait for another Holt guide to join us. We waited for about 20 minutes for him to arrive, and in the meantime our van was swarmed with children. After they finally realized we weren't going to hand out money, they started playing hand games on the windows with the guys and charming the pants off all of us. They are such stunning children and all I could think about was "what if Ari was still here?" Would he be begging too when a bus stopped? Would he be carried around on the back of a 6-year-old? Would his face and eyes be covered with flies like all of these children?" It's so difficult to imagine and yet that is the reality.

We continued down the road into Wolayta where we stopped for lunch -- within sight distance of the care center!! We were hoping we could skip lunch and go right to the care center, but that was not the predetermined schedule, so we ate a quick lunch of spaghetti where we all once again became so slap happy we laughed until we cried, probably from complete nervousness of being literally minutes away from meeting our children. We piled back into the van and drove up the dirt road to the care center. We pulled up to some gold gates in a very peaceful and quiet part Wolayta and piled back out, anxiously awaiting the gates to be opened. We entered into a courtyard with laundry drying on the line, not unlike the court yard at Ari's orphanage. We slipped off our shoes and replaced them with oversized yellow Croc-like shoes, were lead into a small building and into a small room on the left where we laid eyes on three beautiful little girls and their nannies. You have never seen such HUGE brown eyes as Ezra's when she saw six white people enter the room. Bless her little heart, she was scared to death. We immediately sat down next to our children and attempted to interact with each of them without frightening them even more. Ezra's nanny immediately started crying silent tears as we talked with Ezra and attempted to get her to warm up to us. Because of the huge language barrier, I'm not sure if it was tears of joy or sadness, but I have a feeling it was a whole lot of both. Our little girl is obviously loved very much and she loves them back. Thankfully I brought a few toys that immediately sparked her interest and she grabbed and chewed on all of them. She also loved her photo album we made for her -- not for the pictures it contains obviously, but for the teething value it had. The nannies had fun changing her clothes and dressing her up in the clothes and flower hair bow we brought for her, and we got some really cute pictures with her "Little Sister" shirt on. She is a roly-poly little thing with sweet chubby legs and belly and feels solid as a rock when you hold her. I'm guessing for sure 20+ pounds. She did, however, fit into the 6-month onesie I brought to help give some perspective to her size. She crawls on all fours, sits up unassisted, and is pulling up and cruising. I'm sure she will be a walker the next time we see her. She has four bottom teeth already. Her fear of us did dissipate some in the hour and 45 minutes we were there where we could make eye contact without her crying and touch her feet and legs, but never completely. I was able to hold her without her crying for a total of maybe three minutes when we walked over to the window and looked outside, but as soon as I turned around and she saw her nanny, game over. Roger did also get to hold her for a very short time and I was able to get some quick pictures, but she was even more wary of Roger. I truly am so thankful she has attached so completely to her caretakers in the nine months she's been at the care center as this is a fantastic indicator to her developmental well-being, but my heart breaks for her when I think of what she will go through when she is transferred to the care center in Addis and then once again to us. It's just such a tremendous amount of loss these children experience, and there's nothing easy or nice about it.

After our teary good-byes we headed out of town and traveled for approximately two hours before arriving at our hotel in Awassa. We ate some dinner outside with the other Holt families, shared our day's experiences with each other, and have now all retired to our rooms. Tomorrow morning we will head back to Addis, have some free time tomorrow afternoon, and then court Wednesday morning. Have I mentioned how fabulous it would be if we could pass court the first time??? Praying for a favorable outcome.