I'm not sure how this post is going to go -- it may turn out to be a complete rambling mess, but I'm going to write anyway and see what happens.
I find the public's reaction to Ari fascinating. Before he was home I was so curious and anxious, even excited to see how we would be received when we were out and about. For some prospective white adoptive parents, public opinion/reaction is a very real concern they have about adopting a black child and it will actually even deter them from choosing to adopt a child of color. Since I have very little regard of other people's opinions, that was never a stumbling block for us in our decision to adopt from Ethiopia. And, let me tell you, 2 1/2 months in it's been nothing but positive. So far we have had absolutely no negative attention or comments. When we first announced we were adopting from Ethiopia, some family and friends very politely voiced concern over our impending interracial family. And, yes, we do get quite a bit of attention wherever we go, but really truly it is because he is such a cute baby!! We are constantly being bomarded with strangers coming up and commenting on how beautiful he is. So far only one person has directly asked me "where is he from" -- a biracial 20-something young man -- and only a couple times have women asked me "is that your baby," in which I of course answer "yes," before oohing and aahhing over him. Both I think are pretty fair questions that haven't offended me in the least, and it actually gives me an opportunity to talk about his international adoption and the Ethiopian people. Of course, right now Ari is a baby who has absolutely no idea what the conversations going on around him actually mean, but someday when he's older I'm hopeful people will exhibit some tact and not ask such personal questions, but for now I'm okay with it.
3 comments:
Hey, Abby, Roger and Ari!
I've been meaning to blog about this topic as well. Ari is definitely a cutie so it's no wonder he's getting all that attention!
I've found the public's reaction to Lyra to be either similar to your experiences or complete awkwardness.
I asked Ben the other day if he's noticed how people tend to drop things or make silly mistakes when we're around, especially in the check-out.
Funny how people react, but you're right about how different this will be when they're older.
As an outsider (someone who has not adopted), you all (Wassons and other bloggers I read) are introducing us to the world of adopting internationally. I'm a pretty tactful and somewhat inverted person, so I don't think I could EVER ask a stranger some of those questions, but I'm also very human and those are just natural questions. I'm glad you're not offended yet . . .hopefully Ari will understand someday too. I can imagine my own baby will ask me about Ari someday =) or maybe not. Uncharted territory for all of us - you included!
Abby-
I LOVE reading your blog and reading about your little Ari...he really is such a handsome little boy.
I can kind of relate to being a public spectacle of sorts with my twins. When I was pregnant with the boys, another POM (parent of multiples) told me "You will be a spectacle from now until they are 25 years old) and really, that is quite true.
I agree with you, most people are very interested in the situation and ooh and aah over us. But there are those people who say to me "You must not ever leave your house" (duh people, I'm out in public with them) or my favorite when I was prego with them "Your life is going to be OVER when you have them". I try to always be very gracious to those who have positive comments to us and to the others, I politely smile and proudly walk away with my two children in tow. I too, often wonder how the boys will react as they get older and they can understand the comments. But, I suppose that's what life is all about...
Post a Comment