Valentine Tea

(Louanna-Roger's mom, me, Cody, Tammy-Roger's sister)

Today I had the privilege of attending my 5-year-old nephew Cody's Valentine tea party at his preschool that included singing, little cheese sandwiches in the shape of hearts, and cupcakes frosted (heavily) by the kids. Cody and I of course had to eat our cupcakes upside down since we both have an aversion to frosting because that's how we roll. Anyway, all of the "significant women" in Cody's life were invited; you know, like grandmas and aunts and his mom. It was so fun...and cute! The kids sang sweet Valentine-ish songs for about five minutes, including "You Are My Sunshine" in which I then had to employ some serious breathing techniques to keep the waterworks at bay, but I did make it through. There is just something about that song. But then I've also notcied lately that when I get in certain situations (like any time there are babies or little kids around) I find myself fighting tears, not because I'm sad but because I have so much denied maternal instinct built up inside me that it just comes out in the form of tears. AND THEN, as if that wasn't enough, there was one little girl in the class who didn't have anyone at the party for her -- no mom or grandma, no one. And it was obviously very sad and upsetting for her, as it would be for any 4-year-old who walks into a room and doesn't see a familiar face when all of her classmates do. She of course has a family to go home to after her 2 1/2 hours of preschool are over, but I couldn't help but think of the millions of children and babies in Africa and all over the world wondering where their mom and dad is every day and why they aren't there with them. Very different situations, I know, but as I watched her cry after it became too much for her, I felt a deep sense of grief and almost panic as I realized that those are the emotions our child will experience before we can be united with him/her and then even after that for a while. To know this because common sense tells us this is one thing; to actually witness these emotions in a child is very different. Okay, enough. I didn't mean to be such a downer. I know I'm being a little dramatic. Adopting internationally is just a lot to think about sometimes. But, anyway, the tea party truly was so much fun and so enjoyable. And Cody gave me the biggest, nicest hug before I left, not because his mom told him to (even though she did), but because I think he really was happy I was there. I CANNOT WAIT to have more Valentine parties (and every other school function) to attend with our own kids!